Statistics is Parenthood: DBH
by TheZitFactor
Summary: Several one-shots of Connor becoming a father to one (or two...or three...ok, maybe several) children with Hank (and possibly Kamski) being saddled with pseudo-grandpa duties. Constructive criticism and requests are welcomed Rated T for Hank's mouth.


**Hello and welcome, dear Reader! I am Z, and this is the first fanfic I've written in a long time since my Wattpad years, so I decided to start again upon here! Hope you enjoy! Constructive criticism is welcomed**!

**[-x-]**

**Prompt: _It's been almost a year since the Revolution, and Connor has finally came back with a surprise or two._**

It was a rainy Friday, and Hank Anderson was settled in his home with a cold six-pack at his side, absentmindedly watching a late night four am game of wrestling. Sumo, his lovable Saint Bernard, lay at his feet: rolled upon his back while he slept soundly with the odd flick of his tail here and there against Hank's leg. However, the occasional thumping Sumo's tail against his leg did nothing to deter Hank's thoughts for that night, nor did the game capture his attention with its usual violent commentary.

No, Hank Anderson's thoughts were far from cute doggos and trashy television: the 53 years old Lieutenant choosing to spend his night off staring blankly into space, wondering at the whereabouts of a certain android partner of his.

Eight months has passed since the Revolution, and Hank could still remember that brief moment of pride stilling in his chest after watching his friend walk out of CyberLife: over a thousand androids standing behind Connor as he crossed the streets of Detroit. Said android had given Hank a cheeky wink - an actual fucking wink - before leaving, speaking in that awkward tone of his: "I'll be okay, Hank. Don't forget to take care of Sumo while I'm gone."

"Just shut up and kick some ass," Hank had told him, stifling a grimace as he pulled at the wound on his shoulder. The once CyberLife employee gave him a worried glance, which he waved off hurriedly. "Don't worry; it's just a graze. I'll be okay." Connor nodded once, smiled again, and left through CyberLife's double, sliding doors.

Hank took a swig at his beer, ignoring the warm taste of it losing its earlier chill.

The aftermath of their parting was still much of blur to him; he remembered stumbling home and patching himself up - fuck going to the doctors - and then walking to the Chicken Feed for a quick grab of food. He tried not to worry too much about Connor; the android was fully capable of taking care of himself and didn't need some old bag stressing over him.

However, Hank couldn't not worry about the damn android.

Despite his earlier dislike for the android, Connor was able to slither his way into Hank's life and latch on tight. In all honesty, Hank didn't have a fucking clue as to how it happened; it all happened so fast, too quick, for him to comprehend the fact that his best - and only - friend in this entire fucking city was an android. However, these past few months gave him time to contemplate the aspects of their relationship: Hank - if he's to be honest with himself - misses Connor's constant nagging of his health. He misses when Connor would wake him with a good slapping _("Dammit Connor!")_ and later apologize by sliding him a chocolate donut at the station. Hell, he even misses the way Connor would stick evidence in his mouth (though he'll never admit it - not even on his fucking deathbed).

All in all, Hank just misses his friend, his partner - the closest thing he had to a family during their short time together. No matter how infuriating the young man could be, Hank couldn't help this parental love he has for the kid. And though he doubts Connor sees him as such, Hank will always claim the android to be a part of his family.

"If only I knew where the fucker was at," Hank mumbled, tossing the now empty beer can to the side. He reached to grab another, pausing as he heard a pounding on his door. Sumo shot up from his sleep: ears perking and head swiveling in confusion towards Hank.

The pounding grew louder; it became more insistent.

"Hold your fucking nuts!" Hank hollered, rising from the couch with a grunt. God, he seriously didn't want to deal with whoever the fuck was outside his door right now. "What fucking idiot knocks on someone's door at four ass o'clock in the morning?" He reached the door, sighing before snapping off the door chain and dragging open the door. "Listen, I don't give a fuck-"

"Hello, Hank."

Silence - long, tense and awkward - stretched between Hank and his unexpected guest.

"Connor…?" He voiced, gazing towards the android he hasn't seen in eight fucking months.

The damn idiot merely smiled: eyes crinkled and cheeks flushed due to the harsh rain billowing behind him with a clap of thunder. "It's nice to see you, Hank. Hope you've been taking care of Sumo like I asked you to-"

"You fucking asshole!" Hank exploded. He pulled back his arm and clocked his fist into Connor's nose, ignoring the flare of pain in his knuckles as the other stumbled back and nearly slipped. Hank reached forward and grabbed hold of his collar, yanking him forward and pulling him into a tight embrace. "You _fucking_ asshole," he merely grumbled.

Chuckles reached his ears as soft hands patted his back.

"Nice to see you too," Connor huffed. The punch barely dented his mood, knowing he deserved it for worrying Hank. Though the older man would never admit, Connor knows he cares about the android's well-being, and Connor couldn't have been more happier than he was right now.

After eight long months, he was finally home.

"Get your ass in here," Hank suddenly started, remembering there was a storm outside his door. He pulled Connor inside, noting the odd state of dress the other was in. Dressed down in a brown leather jacket over a gray hoodie with ripped jeans and black sneakers, Connor looked like a ruffian with the included backpack slung over his shoulder. He was sopping wet: his hair plastered to his head and skin flushed from the sudden heat of the house.

Hank led Connor to the couch, gesturing for him to sit and watching with interest as Connor gently set his backpack down beside him, opening the zipper a tad and adjusting it comfortably. He sat in the nearby armchair, having grabbed his case of beer before sitting.

Again, the silence was long and awkward and stretched as they simply looked at each other.

"Where have you been, Connor?" Hank questioned finally. "Are you alright? Are you hurt? What the fuck happened, and why haven't you called or text or fucking _something_ to let me know you were ok?!"

"Hank, I'm sorry," Connor started, feeling the guilt settle in his stomach (or what could be considered as a stomach). "I didn't mean to disappear like I did, but some things came up and needed my assistance."

"Like what? What could have happened to you out there?"

"A lot," Connor answered with a sigh, briefly glancing towards the backpack. "After we parted, I went to help Markus wrap up the revolution. As you know, we were able to gain a majority of the public opinion and was granted our freedom; however, things were still tense, and androids were still being hunted. I wanted to to come back and see you, but if I did, you would have been endangered. I couldn't bare the thought of you getting hurt because of me, so I stayed away and left to Canada with Kara and her family. She was the AX400 model we chased to that highway."

"So, you went to fucking _Canada_?" Hank asked dumbly. His head was trying to process what Connor was saying. "Did you stay there during the entire time you were gone?"

"Yes," Connor nodded. "I ended up living with Kara and her family, helping them settle in while also listening for news back here."

"What did you do while you were gone?"

"I mostly stayed at Kara's house; I wasn't planning on staying there permanently, so I decided to stay and take care of her daughter until it was time to leave."

Another stretch of silence; Hank reached over for a beer and popped opened the tab. "Something tells me that's not all that you did."

"No, it isn't," Connor agreed. "When we first got to Canada, we ended up staying at some homeless shelter for the first month or so. It was awful, but it was the best we could do. Luther - Kara's lover, I suppose - would usually go out and find work while Kara and I stayed at the shelter. While there, I met this girl-"

"Oh, boy…" Hank groaned. Connor threw him a glare for interrupting and continued with his story.

"She was a young girl: about eighteen or so, I believe. I didn't bother to ask cause it just seemed rude. She was six months pregnant when we first met, and from what I could gather from our conversations, she was put on the streets because of her predicament. The father was nowhere in the picture, and she seemed to need assistance the further along she got.

"Kara offered her a place with us once we were ready to move, but she refused. Said that she was alright and thankful for the company we gave her. Kara gave her our contact info in case she needed anything, and that was last we heard from her until three months later.

"She had gone into labor, and she wanted Kara to be there with her. Kara was gone for nearly a day before coming back, but she didn't come back alone."

It didn't take a genius to figure what he meant.

"So I'm guessing your friend took this girl's children into her care."

"Yes, and no," Connor smiled nervously. Hank didn't trust that smile for a second. "Kara did take in the children: a boy and girl both favoring their mother. However, after she got a job, I took on the role of caregiver for both children and Kara's daughter. It wasn't until I heard that androids were granted the rights for paid services that I finally decided to come back…"

"But…?" Hank urged quietly as he sipped his beer. He had an inkling as to what happened, but he need Connor to confirm his theory.

"Kara and Luther were barely making it when it was just me staying there; the added stress of two babies - human infants - would have strained them. After careful planning and consideration...I decided to take the children into my care."

Again - that fucking silence.

"So," Hank nodded, keeping his thoughts from running with another swig of his can. "I'm guessing that backpack of yours isn't just for fashion."

Connor merely shrugged awkwardly before grasping the bag carefully, unzipping the bag further and reaching both hands inside. Hank watched as he obtain a quivering bundle: small gurgles emitting from the pale, yellow fabric as Connor gently cradled it against his chest. He locked one arm around it before reaching back into the bag with the other, procuring another bundle: this one quiet with dark tuff's of hair peeking out of the dark green blanket.

"Would you like to see them?" The question was soft, nearly an inaudible whisper if Hank wasn't already leaning close for a better look.

"Why the fuck not?" Hank quirked, standing from his seat and moving to stand over Connor's shoulder. He peeked at the two bundles and just...stared.

Both babes were dark skinned: a rich chocolate color that seem to glow bronze in the dank lighting of Hank's living room. Dark, curly tendrils clouded both of their heads, and twin orbs of hazel eyes seem to peer beneath long lashes towards Hank.

"They're only three months; their mother had them about a month late, and they were lucky to survive the birth." Connor added lowly.

"What are their names?" Hank questioned softly. He wanted to reach out and touched them; old feelings of nostalgia stirred in his chest as he thought about a time much like this some years ago.

Gesturing to the yellow bundle, Connor said: "She is Kaija Rayen," and then to the green bundle, "and he is Jabari Kadir."

"Odd fucking names."

"Their mother was big on ancestral names. She named them after her grandparents who died shortly before she ended up at the shelter."

"Are they okay?"

"They are fine; the trip was easy for them, despite being in a backpack."

"Remind me to kick your ass later; that shit is fucking dangerous, you idiot."

Another fucking silence followed as they just stared towards the babes. The excitement of Connor's return was beginning to wear Hank down, and he simply patted Connor on the back.

"Welcome back, Son. I really fucking missed you."

"I missed you too, Hank," Connor smiled gently. His LED - which he still kept - whirred blue, and Hank couldn't help the sigh of relief at seeing it.

"Tomorrow, we'll fix up that spare room for them. I'm off for the weekend, so I'll be able to at least help you guys settle in."

"Thank you, Hank. For everything."

"No problem, Kid."

Yeah.

_No fucking problem at all._

**[-x-]**

**Hope you enjoyed! Please let me know if you wish for more or have any suggestions!**


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